


Breakup and breakd0wn

by Shitfacedanon



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Drug Use, Gen, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-25
Updated: 2013-05-25
Packaged: 2017-12-12 22:14:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/816649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shitfacedanon/pseuds/Shitfacedanon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short little fic detailing Damara's feelings towards a certain unfaithful Taurus and the slow rise and fall into her current state of mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breakup and breakd0wn

You remember when you first met him. You were awkward and nervous and didn’t understand a word of his language. Yet curiously he did yours and as awkward as his own speech was, it made you feel close to him. Not close like that of a friend or lover, but close like that of a teacher. He made you feel comfortable and less of a fool and for that you were thankful to him.

At first you two merely enjoyed each other’s company, playing his games and watching his “anime”. It was all somewhat stupid and silly, yet you enjoyed it, childish as it was. He would always ask you what you wanted to do, and being in a strange land with nothing but your clothes you knew not what to say and so you merely went along with him. And for a time that was fine. 

And then you two grew close. You found yourselves sharing details about each other while also noticing subtle things about the other. How he always tended to pause his words, his somewhat dorky yet lovable nature, his cute face. How his wings would flutter when he was excited or how he would say that word of his. “Bangarang” it was. You never knew what it meant but you loved it. 

He would always complement you, calling you sweet things like “doll” which you thought was unfitting for someone as dorky as you were. Telling you how cute your horns were, or how lovely your favorite red shirt and skirt were, and you ate up every word of his as if it was candy. You loved whenever you would hold his hand, feel him hug you, or when he’d cup your face and lie about how he would love you forever. And because you were a stupid girl, you believed him.

And then you grew really close. You both would become inseparable, always holding hands whenever you two were together. Always telling each other how cute or beautiful the other was, always savoring everything, great to small the other had to offer. You remember that night when you and he consummated your love, when he made you feel weak and small, when he made you feel as if you were in heaven, when he made you scream and tell him how much you loved him. And most of all, you remember how much he lied about how precious and important you were to him. How he would love you “forever and ever.” 

And then he betrayed you. At first simply forming a platonic friendship between himself and that disgusting horse freak. And you at first did not mind it for you thought him yours and vice versa. And then you began to notice things; he would spend less time with you, make excuses for being late, or forgetting about you entirely. You grew suspicious, yet kept your feelings to yourself, for you stupidly thought he would never do such a thing as cheat on you. And as time passed, you began to notice. He would hold your hand less tightly; his tone would come off as if he were speaking more to a friend then a lover. And he would seem less comfortable whenever you would hold each other. 

You didn’t believe he could hurt you, nor that he could ever betray your trust, and so against all your better judgment you still put such thoughts of infidelity out of your mind. And so you put the blame for his actions on yourself, thinking that perhaps he had merely grown bored with your routines and affections. And so you planned to do something for him, to put aside a day just for him in the hopes that it might rekindle that love you both felt for each other. And so you told him to meet you at this place and this date, all hoping to surprise him. 

And when he arrived you were overjoyed. You kissed him and told him of how much he meant to you and of how you loved him so. Even speaking in his language in that broken accent of yours just to show him how much he meant to you. And he responded by telling you he didn’t love you anymore and that he wanted another. Lying about how much he still cared about you yet “not like that.” How you two could still be friends. And then as awkwardly as when you two met, he left you.

And then that game began. You felt lonely, broken and sick all the time. As if someone had ripped your very heart out. You didn’t care about anything or anyone, and didn’t even care if your “friends” won this stupid game or not. You took to dulling yourself, smoking that soporific in the hopes that you’d feel less unpleasant. 

And then… Then that hated fish girl happened. She would mock you, harass you, constantly remind you of Rufioh, constantly mention how much happier he was with that bastard horse lover. Constantly, relentlessly, mercilessly torment you. Laughing at you with that witch like cackle, grinning at you with that shark tooth smile and all the while pushing that backstabber further and further into the arms of that freak. You felt your rage grow, your mind twist into something different. You felt a nagging feeling in the back of your mind; whispering at first then screaming at you to take revenge, to hurt her. Slowly, little by little it grew louder and greater until your mind seethed with loathing. She needed to pay, he needed to pay. THEY. ALL. NEEDED. TO. PAY.

And finally you had enough. You hated them, you hated her, but most of all you hated him. How he had lied to you, how he had used you. You wanted to hurt him, and everyone else. 

And so you did. 

First you beat that fish girl to death, clawing her face and bashing her skull into the ground. Pulling on her hair and even using her own trident to pummel her for a spell before you simply slammed her into the ground. You relished the sound of her bones splintering and her organs being pounded into pulp as her body was slowly ruined till only a limp, barely conscious mess of a bitch remained. And then as a final, bitter farewell, you strangled her and left her corpse to revive.

Secondly, you went after your ex. You slapped him, insulted him, called him worthless whore and then tossed him over a cliff. He screamed and begged you to help him; his legs now useless. But you ignored him, simply standing over his ruined form and saying nothing. As you left him to die you heard him scream how sorry he was and how much he still loved you but you dismissed these words and smiled at his cries.

And after that you went after the rest, tormenting them, sabotaging their own little missions. Not that they ever bothered to play the game much; most of them to self absorbed in their own petty stupid little affairs to do more than token efforts. But whatever, you didn’t care, after all neither did they. They never bothered to stop that fish girl from tormenting you, never once lent a hand, never once offered a kind word. Always just thinking of you as “th4t w31rd 34st3rn g1rl” or “7h47 l4m3 r3d 817ch” or “That unkempt maro+o+n blo+o+d” or “That filthy rust peasant.” You were always that awkward freak, the one they’d gossip about for a quick laugh. Why would that ever change? Why would they ever change? Always they would be stupid, blind petty little things. Always they would be selfish, vile little things. They deserve to die, deserve every horrible thing that will happen to them. 

And now it soon comes. Or will, or did. You can’t really tell anymore; time moves in such a confusing manner to you now and only the human soporific helps calm your senses. The fish girl lives in a way and has another stupid plan. A plan to give you all a second chance and to hopefully win this game. Though you know better, you know so much more now. You know exactly what will happen, to all of them. To everything, and it makes you smile.

She comes to you apprehensively, the memories of your last encounter still fresh. She needs you to help her set off the tumor and reset their session. You agree much to her surprise, working flawlessly to set things to their rightful path. It takes you little effort, and once you have finished your task, she sets off on hers with the tenacity of a stubborn fool. The bomb goes off, and with that you die; a smile on your face.

Though of course, even in death you get no respite. You still have to tolerate these dregs annoying prescience, yet not forever. All you have to do is wait, wait for the master and his dark laughter and wicked grins and oh so beautiful lights of oblivion. He will come in time and when he finally does, he will bring sweet death or mercilessness tyranny to all. For you the former and for everything and anything else, the latter. And when that moment comes…

You shall finally be free.


End file.
